thoughts from a restless mind.

extrasad:

i really wanna kiss you and be cute with you and fall asleep in your arms and go on stupid dates but i also sort of want to light you on fire and throw myself into traffic so idk

(via throwingwordsintoablackhole)

atwtktd:

i will always remember the look in his eyes of such emptiness, wherein which no matter how much i could see myself upon them, i would never be able to pierce through him.

a reflection. that was all i could ever be.

i remember holding his hand and being able to feel his heart beat through the tip of each finger and seeing the electricity run through his collarbone like a telephone cord connecting his mind and heart. i could feel the energy within him, and i could feel it through me.

and i’d look into his eyes, wondering if he noticed my sternum heaving harder than an old train engine, and if he knew his touch was coal. and i’d see, just for a quick second, a spark. but it’d soon be gone,

just like i would.

and his eyes, they knew.

A Daddy’s Letter to His Little Girl (About Her Future Husband)

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.

Your eternally interested guy,

Daddy

(Source: followandreblog, via thewayitends)

typewriterdaily:

“I love you.”

When people say these words, they make so many mistakes. The first is that they emphasize the first two words, “I love”, far too much. People think their love means something, that they should be awarded because they love you. They think it is such a great accomplishment and everyone should rejoice and pat them on the back. Some people make the mistake of thinking because they love you they own you. But Audrey Hepburn is right: “People don’t belong to people.” They make the mistake of thinking they are entitled to a certain piece of you or to more of your time and energy. But they’re wrong. The egotistical “I” and self-aggrandizing “love” should not be emphasized; only the last word should be emphasized: “you”.

“You” should be raised from its grammatical subjugation as the object of the sentence and should overwhelm the subject and verb, “I love.” When you say, “I love you,” what you should really be saying is “I love who you are.” This way, “you” is given more words and more dimensions. The identity and significance of the one being loved is emphasized so much so that the subject and verb fall apart. It’s a way of saying you love them separate from yourself, separate from the obligations that are often concomitant with declarations of love. It’s about loving someone because of how they approach an obstacle or read a book or look at the world. You love them wholly in and of themselves and that’s all there is to it. “You are loved” can accomplish the same goal, making “you” the subject of the sentence rather than “I”.

The first two words are responsible for so many mistakes that they should be removed entirely from the sentence. They are unnecessary. All you need is “you;” the love is implied. You, as we walk through Central Park. You, as we stumble down Broadway. You, as we both buy the same book for each other and laugh at the coincidence. You, at 11pm, getting ready for bed. You, at 2am, when your favorite character dies. You. I want you. I choose you. I love you.

The second mistake is perhaps the saddest: they think this love will last. We are sometimes forced to make this mistake, for how could we find the energy to love when we know it’s just going to end? It is more than naiveté; it is the human condition of hope, the hope that we won’t have to go home alone, eat dinner alone, and sleep alone. It is the hope that we are not unlovable. We see this mistake made countless times when a couple holds hands or wedding vows are exchanged at the altar. When people say, “I love you,” they think it’s forever. How else could they promise to be faithful to one person for the rest of their life? But love is not static; love is not forever.

The third mistake is that they think love is the most important thing in the world and that everything should revolve around it. Plans should be put on halt, promotions that would move us across the country should be declined, and planes should not be boarded if we are met at the gate with some cinematic outpouring of love. People think love is the key to life, a sort of panacea that will cure depression, loneliness, and despair. But they put too much emphasis on it. It is just one emotion among many, and there is no guarantee it will end with anything good. I would rather laugh with you than love you; I’d rather be your friend than your lover.

There are other mistakes: they think it won’t hurt, and if it does, the pain will be worth it. Too often, love swings like a pendulum between two great extremes. On one hand, love is pain, loss, jealousy, and heartache. On the other, love is a blinding passion of feverish desire and lust that distorts the truth and reality. It entails a relationship that is dangerously dependent on another human being.

But I believe there is a right way, an intelligent way, to love. If I do end up loving someone, I would want it to be a simple and mature love. I want it to be a love that is balanced, patient, and sophisticated, one that is immune to the despair, jealousy, and feverish passions that plague an ordinary love. I want it to be sensible and realistic and strong, not clouded by fantasy. I want it to be rich with conversation and I want honesty and mutual happiness to be the pillars our love is built on. I want our passion to be subtle, but strong, reserved, and deep. I want her first and foremost to be my best friend and I want our friendship to be a lifelong story.

glayish:

offendpoppunk:

are those feelings get them away from me

#BASIC VULCAN PHILOSOPHY 

(Source: devotionii, via whrrg4rb1)

(Source: ahmerde, via showersofapril)

“The mind and heart go to interesting places when under the influence of alcohol. Places you may not have expected, emotions you may usually ignore.”

(Source: weschans, via wongfuproductions)

Esperanza Spalding

(Source: blackcoffeebluez, via fairyonacidbanging)

qalbam:

it’s all fading. remember that book you read years ago? the one that made your heart ache, made tears stream down your face?  it felt so real, didn’t it? the characters pain was yours, the mistakes were yours, the regrets were yours too. you felt the ache days after you had finished reading what had been written about. but it plays on the back of your mind, certain things remind you of that book. sometimes you stand on your tip-toes and remove it from the highest shelf and read your favourite parts, the ones that made you feel all the feelings you weren’t capable of feeling before, or weren’t aware of. i feel that towards you.

(Source: cherryghosts, via somecatwoman)

When they’re in crisis, you can’t go and see them in person. You can’t let them spend the night at your house. You can’t cook them dinner. You can’t go with them to a job interview. You can’t take them out for coffee. You can’t hold their hand or hug them. You can’t let them use your shower. You can’t be a physical contrast to the abusive people in their physical lives.

(Source: quixotess, via ardentsonata)

visual-poetry:

Avec le temps, va, tout s’en va
On oublie le visage et l’on oublie la voix
Le coeur quand ça bat plus, c’est pas la peine d’aller
Chercher plus loin, faut laisser faire et c’est très bien
Avec le temps…
Avec le temps, va, tout s’en va
L’autre qu’on adorait, qu’on cherchait sous la pluie
L’autre qu’on devinait au détour d’un regard
Entre les mots, entre les lignes et sous le fard
D’un serment maquillé qui s’en va faire sa nuit
Avec le temps tout s’évanouit
Avec le temps…
Avec le temps, va, tout s’en va
Mêm’ les plus chouett’s souv’nirs ça t’as un’ de ces gueules
A la Gal’rie j’Farfouille dans les rayons d’la mort
Le samedi soir quand la tendresse s’en va tout’ seule
Avec le temps…
Avec le temps, va, tout s’en va
L’autre à qui l’on croyait, pour un rhume, pour un rien
L’autre à qui l’on donnait du vent et des bijoux
Pour qui l’on eût vendu son âme pour quelques sous
Devant quoi l’on s’trainait comme trainent les chiens
Avec le temps, va, tout va bien
Avec le temps…
Avec le temps, va, tout s’en va
On oublie les passions et l’on oublie les voix
Qui vous disaient tout bas les mots des pauvres gens
Ne rentre pas trop tard, surtout ne prend pas froid
Avec le temps…
Avec le temps, va, tout s’en va
Et l’on se sent blanchi comme un cheval fourbu
Et l’on se sent glacé dans un lit de hasard
Et l’on se sent tout seul peut-être mais peinard
Et l’on se sent floué par les années perdues
Alors, vraiment
Avec le temps, on n’aime plus. 

by Léo Ferré (1969)

listen to it on youtube (incl. translation)

mynameiselly:

My specialty is sticking my heart in places
that it doesn’t belong

I love people too much or not at all and I can
tell you so many stories about times that
I’ve fallen in love with boys on public transit
just because I accidentally read their texts and
saw that they were wishing their fathers goodnight

I put my love into ideas that only last as long as the
people who came up with them and I put my love in corners
of stores with mannequins that have mismatched clothing
but still look so good, I put my love
in all the wrong places— or so I’ve been told

I fall in love with everything, I have spent whole years
crying over the beauty I see in calendars and the way
that the pavement looks like a rainbow after it rains
I have spent months caring more than I should about
people who gave me the time of day once even if
it was not the time that I needed and people who I
fell in love with because they bothered to ask me
how my day was, I have cried so much more
than I have ever needed to because I have never
understood why I am the one who loves more and
I never learn my lesson but

I will not apologize for the way my eyes light up
at little things like birthday cakes and striped sweaters
I am okay with loving so much because at least
I have enjoyed the things that have hurt me
before they had the chance to hurt me—
I am telling you, love
is like getting food poisoning from your favorite dish
at a Chinese restaurant

Enjoy the taste of your hot and sour soup before it burns you
and keeps you up all night, twisting your stomach into knots
and causing you to wonder how something you like so much
could ever make you anything but happy

(via mariannapaige)

jagking-off-gaskarth:

morrissarty:

l0v3-51ckn3ss:

princeaspartame:

01012012:

as if depression is something that can be remedied by any of the contents found in a first aid kid

Please take a moment to watch this. A video has not moved me as strongly as this since that really popular Charlie Chaplin video that went around.

Seen this going around a lot as of recently and it wasn’t until now I actually bothered to watch it. Very strong. I intend not to lose this.

wow shit go watch it

This video is beautiful. I strongly recommend watching this. Seriously, guys. I’m looking forward to getting my “They Were Wrong” tattoo.

(via spockandsex)

realhumanbaby:

Someone’s probably in love with you right now, even though you think you’re boring and stupid and smell bad most of the time, someone probably saw you last week and wiped their sweaty hands on the insides of their pockets and thought about how small your body gets under your clothing and about how you would look asleep in their bed